What Scuttle Taught Me About Joy, Play, and POSITOOVITY

There are certain roles that come into your life quietly, almost unexpectedly—and then end up leaving a mark on you far deeper than you ever imagined. Scuttle was one of those roles for me. 💛

After a long hiatus from theater—years filled with college, life changes, uncertainty, and yes, a global pandemic—I slowly began finding my way back to the stage. I had done a few shows since returning, each one meaningful in its own way, but Scuttle in The Little Mermaid was different. This was my first big role since high school, and more than that, it arrived at a time when I didn’t even realize how much I needed it.

This show came into my life at a rather perfect time. And to think that I almost didn’t audition for a role, let alone register for the show! Huge thanks to my friends who highly encouraged me to go for it. They believed in me when I still didn’t. 

I was moving through grief—quiet, layered grief that doesn’t always announce itself but lives in the body and heart all the same. I was healing, but gently, cautiously. And then suddenly, I was handed this silly, chaotic, joyful bird who knew absolutely nothing… and yet somehow knew everything.

Scuttle asked me to show up with playfulness. With curiosity. With joy that wasn’t forced or polished, but earnest and a little ridiculous. He reminded me that it’s okay—necessary, even—to let loose. To laugh loudly. To trust joy again. He also reminded me to not care about what others think–self-confidence is everything. Own your uniqueness and pizazz and stay true to yourself. 

What surprised me most was how healing and rejuvenating the rehearsal process became. I am so grateful that I also had the best directors to work with and learn from. Shoutout to RTA for being such a supportive and inclusive space to nurture the artist from within. 😌

There is something profoundly restorative about theater: about stepping into a character and allowing yourself to feel fully, freely, and without judgment. Through Scuttle, I found myself reconnecting with parts of me that had been quiet for a while—the part that delights in silliness, that finds wonder in nonsense, that believes joy can exist alongside grief.

Scuttle taught me POSITOOVITY—not in the way of pretending everything is fine, but in choosing lightness where possible. In leading with joy. In trusting that play itself can be a form of healing. 

Being part of this production reminded me why I fell in love with theater in the first place–when I was seven years old. I fell in love with theater not for perfection or applause or ‘being the best’. But for connection. For storytelling. For exploration and play. And for the way a group of people can come together to create something meaningful, fleeting, and magical. 

I am so grateful to have these opportunities to perform. Theater gives me the space to explore, play, and grow. It allows me to mess up, learn, get vulnerable and connect with people of all ages. I love being part of an inter-generational cast–I learn from everyone, whether they’re 8 years old or 80 years old! 

Thank you to RTA for believing in me, trusting me to bring Scuttle to life and healing my inner child. And to my friends and family who came out to support not just me, but the arts and local community theater—you mean more to me than you know.

I will carry Scuttle with me forever. Not just as a role I loved, but as a reminder:
to have fun,
to stay curious,
to let joy lead,
and to remember that sometimes healing looks like laughter, feathers, and a whole lot of POSITOOVITY. 🥰