The ‘In-Between’

Lately, I’ve been sitting in a really strange in-between.

Not a kid anymore… but not fully feeling like an adult either.

And no one really prepares you for how uncomfortable that space can be.

It actually hit me in a way I didn’t expect after finishing Stranger Things.

At first, I thought I was just emotional about a show ending. Which, sure — it happens. But this felt different. Heavier. Like something deeper was being pulled to the surface.

It wasn’t just about the story ending.

It was about what it represented.

That feeling of being a kid — when life felt simpler, when friendship was everything, when you weren’t constantly questioning if you were “on the right path” — it’s hard to put into words, but you know it when you feel it.

And then one day, you look around and realize… you’re not there anymore.

But you’re not fully settled into who you are now either.

You’re just… in between.

I think that’s why nostalgia has been hitting so hard lately.

It used to feel warm and comforting. Now, sometimes, it feels a little heavier. Almost like an ache.

Not because I want to go backwards… but because I remember what it felt like to feel certain. To feel grounded in who I was.

And I don’t always feel that way anymore.

I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m not actually trying to go back.

Maybe I just haven’t fully built a present that feels as safe, meaningful, or me yet.

And that’s a hard place to sit in — but also, maybe, a necessary one.

So I’m learning to stop asking, “How do I go back?”

And instead, asking:

How do I take the parts of that version of me — the joy, the curiosity, the sense of being fully alive — and bring them into my life now?

How do I create a life that feels like mine, not just one that looks “right” on paper?

I don’t have all the answers yet.

But I think this is what growing up actually is.

Not letting go of who you were…

But learning how to become someone new without losing yourself in the process.